Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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