I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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