as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
