dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
