I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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