If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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