i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
