No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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