She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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