i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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