highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
