I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
