the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.