Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically