I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.