make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
