Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dicks are not precious.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize