What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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