my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
