why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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