3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Every concussion has its silver lining
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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