Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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