Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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