I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
