Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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