I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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