Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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