Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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