she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
