I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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