are you still at the devil's house?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
