doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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