My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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