How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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