Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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