you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
