I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
