was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
