I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
