On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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