I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
