"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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