A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
