after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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