Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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