I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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