I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
