WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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