They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
