I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My ATM looks so different sober.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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