Have you finally orgasmed yet?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
