Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
