Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
