You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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