I cockslap morals
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
