Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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