If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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