he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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