Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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