She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
