I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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