one might say we're banned from that church
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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