just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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